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Battle of the Birthday Bars


I am a strong believer in not needing an occasion to buy/eat cake, and if I had it my way, I would eat a slice (...or two) of birthday cake with every meal, every day.

Unfortunately, that would significantly compromise some health and fitness goals, so that dream will never become a reality *womp*.

HOWEVER, I have (thankfully) found plenty of #cleancheats to indulge in daily to help me scratch the “birthday cake” itch!

And now, with the new launch of Quest’s “Birthday Cake” flavor bars, my cravings are being further satisfied!

But, of all the delicious cake alternatives out there, which holds true to the “birthday cake” name, and how do they stack up against one another??

That is what we are here to figure out today!


Now, as I said, there is no shortage of (what I’m calling) ‘clean cheat’ cake options out there. Walk around a health food store or sports supplement store and you’ll see plenty of “birthday cake” flavored protein items- from peanut butter, to cookies, and even cake bites- but, for the sake of this tasting, we’re sticking to bars!

For our “cake tasting” today, we have a ONE Birthday Cake protein bar, FitJoy Birthday Cake Batter protein bar, and Quest Birthday Cake protein bar.

In regards to just macro-nutrients and calories, here is how we’re looking:




Lowest calorie: Quest

Lowest fat: Quest

Lowest carb: FitJoy

Highest protein: Quest (by 1g)

Highest fiber: Quest

Lowest sugar: Quest/ONE

Sugar alcohol: ONE (10g), Quest (6g)

No sugar alcohol: FitJoy


Now for the fun part, the taste!

With the assistance of my fiancé, I was blindly given initial tastes of each bar. As I sat there with a scarf tied around my face, eating, he recorded my thoughts. I then got to taste each again to strengthen my reviews before finding out which was which.

Let us begin...

Starting with the ONE bar: The texture was very soft which is always a plus in a world of often-chewy-protein-bars, but it was not as ‘melty’ as the Quest (which I later realized).

The coating with the sprinkles was delicious, added a nice crunch, and it tasted outstanding. My only critique on the taste is that it is a little more “sugar cookie”-ish than “birthday cake”, but sweet and tasty nonetheless.

Next up was the FitJoy bar: All I really have to say is ew. It was incredibly chewy and near impossible to bite into. It had zero birthday cake taste whatsoever. I didn’t even bother doing a second taste of this one.

Lastly, the new kid on the block- the Quest bar: As soon as I bit into it, I had to make note of how soft it was (much like the ONE bar was)-- a pleasant experience after gnawing on the FitJoy bar a minute prior. On top of the soft texture, it kind of melted in your mouth as you chewed it.

The coating was a nice touch for a change in texture from the usual Quest Bar, though no extra ‘crunch’ from sprinkles like with ONE. Taste was more-or-less on point with what you would expect for “birthday cake”. No weird after-taste and deliciously sweet.


It was pretty obvious that the FitJoy bar wasn’t “taking the cake” for anything, so it was down to the ONE and Quest bars.

I thoroughly enjoyed the process of sorting this one out. A bite here, a bite there, another bite here, and I finally reached my decision!

(...though I would gladly take another of each bar to solidify this decision right now, because typing all this has my mouth watering.)

The birthday cake conqueror…

..wait for it..


Being the lowest in calories, fat, and sugar, and highest in protein and fiber, PLUS having the most “cake” tasting flavor of the 3, I had to go with Quest Bar.


So, next time you’re craving something good and GOOD FOR YOU, give this newbie a try!

Perfect for satisfying that sweet tooth, and also a perfect and scrumptious pre/post workout!

Have your cake and eat it, too (...guilt free!)




Set goals! Set both long and short-range goals to keep yourself motivated. Be sure that the short-range goals will eventually lead you to your big-picture, long-range ones. Consider them stepping stones on the path towards something bigger.



Do what you like to do. Don't just start doing something because everyone else is; find what you truly enjoy and do that. In the end, if you don't have a genuine interest in your workouts and lifestyle, you're going to hinder your progress.



Switch things up! I know this may sound kind of funny after just reading #2, but as humans, we can get bored of doing the same thing over and over. As well, our muscles can get "bored" and we can plateau. Do not be afraid to try new things and incorporate change to keep you entertained and your muscles guessing!

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